Being Played by Someone Who Just Got Played

To all of my concerned FYFNH readers, I just want to thank you all for keeping my ratings up!… I have some readers who personally e-mailed me their concerns based on advice needed to help them with their experiences.

Usually, I would solve the readers issue or advise them briefly, but one of my readers have decided that she would need some exposure to a situation that is not only recurrent, but affecting why many naija women are still un-married.

The story goes like this:

This young lady named Vana met this gentle man named Temi in 2005 from a family friend of hers. When they met he was engaged, happy and enjoying life. They met strictly as friends and that continued for about year. One day she heard sad news that his engagment was off. Being the concerned friend she was, she decided to console him about the situation. She learned that, Temi’s fiance broke off the engagement because of rumors she heard about his family and rumors about his own ways. His fiance decided to take laws into her own hands by moving on with someone else 6 months before their traditional/white wedding in December 2008. Nonetheless, Vana decided to help wipe his tears and pray to the grace of God that things will get better for him. Temi stayed heart broken for about a month and felt better later on, due to Vana’s confidence in him and their talks about his future. (or so she thought). One day he came to see her in Texas and expressed to her his feeling towards her. She was elated because she loved him so much and was happy that he loved her so much as well.  They spoke everyday and he introduced her to his parents and he threw her a big birthday party, complete with popping bottles and making it “hailstorm” on her. They seemed so happy and she was appreciative to have him as a good friend. He took her shopping and they grew very close.  Even so close that he insisted in meeting her parents at their home in Texas. Her parents fell in love with him instantly, with his boyish charm and of course his coveted nigerian profession in medicine.

Temi was finishing his last year of Medical school at UCLA and he told Vana that they can chat online so that way he can concentrate on his studies and still have a chance to catch up with her.  He kept saying that he wanted to see her. So Vana decided that with all his hard work..she will suprise him in Los Angeles.

When she went to LA she saw her cousin who helped her with the suprise. Her cousin went and tried to see if Temi would be available to take some time off from studying and he told Vana’s cousin that he will be available not knowing that Vana will be there.

When Vana and her cousin suprised him. He wasn’t happy to see Vana and all of those other lovey-dovey things he said over their chats. Vana took him out to lunch and he was acting quite in-different to her. She decided to stay with her cousin until it was time to go. Vana kinda figured that she was probably intruding on his focus and maybe seeing him at this time was not a good idea. Vana asked her cousin to ask Temi what was up.

Temi told her cousin that he didnt want to see her because he was under alot of pressure and didnt want to make her upset because he needs his space. That explanation was cool and all but unfortunately it didnt hold well on his conscience. Vana kept sending him messages and he stopped responding until oneday, Vana’s cousin found out a dirty secret from back home……

Her cousin found out that Temi was getting married in six weeks to some girl from hisvillage in Nigeria. She called Vana immediately, and Vana became devastated. Vana couldn’t even face Temi.  Vana told her parents and they felt bamboozeled, embarrassed and couldn’t understand why he would come to their house and be involved with someone else. Nonetheless, Temi had the nerve to call her and leave her a lovey-dovey message like as if Vana didnt know. Vana never returned back his calls. Temi called her childish for not talking to him.

Vana presented me with the friend breaking question. Should she return his call and talk to him and ask him about his shadyness? or should she continue to ignore him and move on with her life?

I am going to place a poll based on your answers, I will send her the correct advice needed for her to mend her broken heart.

Thank you for helping Vana! She appreciates it.

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