Wow my clock is like ticking– When are we getting married?

You have been to your 50th wedding this year, In your head you mumble… darn that can easily be me if this rotten bloke eating up all the cake can notice that I am ready and have always been. It doesn’t get any easier when you notice your peers getting engaged like its going out of sale or to put icing on the cake, your recently married friends is on his/her first child. You look at your wonderful relationship and after the second year and the umpteenth person asking you “When do you think he will have the brains to get down on one knee??.” You feel like your head is ready to explode. You are so happy for your friends but feel burnt and hurt inside. You look over at your boyfriend and wonder, when am I going to be put in the spotlight, when am I going to get the rock.. WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GET MARRIED!!!!!.

You have heard it over and over–time and time again that you can’t measure the events in your life to what someone else is going through. Sometimes being in a relationship before marriage can be a blessing. Certain pressures that are involved in marriage can be too complex for a man to handle and sometimes even for a woman. It takes a different type of mature mindset to understand those things. Rushing marriage can be dangerous especially if you put too much pressure on a man to get down on one knee.

But… If you have been together for over two years and have been emotionally, financially (yes this means alot when it comes to marriage), physically and mentally competent and now there is nothing left for you both to accomplish and are at the pinnacle of love then why not get married. I always used to ask… now what is that man waiting for? Sometimes we wonder….. Is he cheating?, Am I not the one? But it is all on the level of comfort and confidence you give to your man that is also embedded in your man . If he feels like he does not have the 2 “C’s” in you then that’s why he is prolonging the idea. Talk to him about what is going on and what he may want and need from you. This would prove that you can develop what is considered a “compromise” which happens to be the third and most important “C” when developing a path towards marriage. Being able to show your man that you can do certain things to please him or appeal can help you in the long run.

If you start feeling a little jealous or you begin going on a wedding witchhunt to satisfy the fact that you are not married, you will cause a severe downward spiral in your relationship and there may be negative reprecussions to that situation. You have to look and be proud of what you have. As Nigerians know, weddings or the act of being married is just about the epitome of our culture. It plays an important part of every young woman’s life. SO it is understandable when you feel in doubt because everyone around you is getting married. Take it as a blessing, so that way those who have paved the way for you can advise you and you can see from far ahead mistakes that can be avoided.

So the next time you start wondering about when you are getting married, just think about all the fun stuff you haven’t accomplished yet with your man and ask him what more does he want from you. Intiative is platinum in a relationship and since marriage can be also considered a business or partnership in business it is important to invest towards marriage. Focus on what you can do to be prepared for that special day and show your man (or vice versa) why you are so special in his life.

In other terms, if you are reading this and you are in your thirties and yes your biological clock is ticking and you have been dating this guy for more than two years, you need to look into what is going on in the relationship. In your thirties, you already know what you want and need in another individual. You may need to have that pep talk.

I always say that prayer is so important when asking for the Lord’s strength to make something happen. But it would be selfish to ask God for why you are not married yet. You should focus prayer on building harmony, fidelity and love in your relationship. These are all elements that will adhere making marriage the center of your relationship development.

Advertisement